Today

For the longest time I have given up on birthdays , well correction. I gave up on mine.
For as long as I could remember I started to hate mine. Things always go wrong on my birthday. I guess it was just spending it alone for so many years. There we a couple of birthdays when everything really went wrong. Long trips to meet up with family and end up with no family there but only 2 cases of beer to greet you(long story on this one).

But something changed lately.
It started 2007. Nin and I just started dating and on my birthday said she would take me out to dinner. To my surprise I got a surprise party of at least 40 people. No one has ever thrown me a surprise party.... ever.
2008- A planned beach party was thrown at Nin's house just for me. Earth hours pushed through but it was all good cause we were in board shorts and beach wear so that was cool. It was the steadiest party..ever.
2009... this is where this blog should have started.
I woke up at 4pm cause my boss called me and since I work nights it was tough to go back to sleep, I decided to just watch TV. And there it is. Nin lets me know we're going to have dinner on the eve of my birthday. I asked where and she said " Kamameshi house sounds good."
I don't think she knows what Kamameshi house is to me.
Kamameshi house to me brings back memories. Memories of my childhood when My dad and my mom were still together. Times when we would have to really prep an appetite. The times when My sister and I would fight over the last burnt rice at the bottom of Kamameshi rice container. The times when asked where we wanted to eat we often answered Kamameshi. Where our Japanese craze started. Where I got a California maki cake. (the sushi chef was a friend of mine after all the times we frequent ther place that when he found out it was my birthday he make me some maki with HB on top with Jap Mayo.) Memories that I hold dear.
Times that we would go there frequently as a family. A lot of memories and I believe happy ones. I know it's just a restaurant, but those are the things that make turning 32 better. remembering the good "old" days. Some of those old memories that make the new ones smile.

Thank you Nin! you don't know how happy you've made me. I love you.

Imperfect

I will never give up the fight for life.
I will never surrender to the pains of the soul.
I shall never succumb to the hurt deep within.

Silence

I sat down and decided that it has been long since I've written anything.
I sat and wrote.... erased and re-wrote.
erased and re-wrote... for hours.
I sat and pondered.
I guess there are things in life that are better in silence.
There are somethings that you could share and some things better seen and heard.

I could sit here for hours and describe the taste and feel of a strawberry.
And yet there is nothing better than having a strawberry to taste and see.
I know that they say that the best writers can have you tasting the blood after a vampire novel or the sea salt after an underwater adventure, and yet I sense that there are some things that I can't put on "paper".