Why me?

I'm so tired of all the stuff God thinks I can take.
Why does He think I can take all this?
I wish I had that much faith in what I could do like He does...
Does He really think I can take all this?Am I this strong?

Am I?!?!?!

I'm tired of His sick sense of humor...
I don't want this anymoreI'm ready to give it all up
I don't need anyone to save me from this..
I didn't want be saved from anything ...
I just wanted to be ok...
I wouldn't need help if He didn't allow this.

What do you see?

There are times I sit in this little corner in my head thinking of what to say
Often caught off guard by the silence
Sobriety and sanity escape me at times of cold breeze
No emotional structure to base one’s heart
Discovery and deliverance both none in sight
Cloudy skies and misty eyes all brought together
December around the corner waiting to exhale its winter

The warmth I once held in your chest no small patches of breath
As I look out the window from my desk I notice the change of color
The sun no longer shines so bright
The clouds no longer all white, more of gray
You I hear the waves of the ocean in my head and remember where I want to be
Close to the water, close to freedom
I long for the vast water and where it can take me
I remember me being a fire elemental, but water is where I belong

I often wish I could fly
Fly free and just float into the heavens
I guess every one once did…

I see the people walk beneath my office building minding their own
While other lives could end right then and there
Amidst all the sorrow I have learned to cope and build
I’ve learned to laugh and see the lighter view

Yes every cloud has a silver lining, but when it rains it pours
Tomorrow is another day, but will tomorrow come?

I once dreamt of being the wind
Being all around and untouched
I believe that freedom has it’s price
And this is the price I pay

Life's guide (if you can make sense of it)

Stop the pain
Stop the tears
learn to smile for no reason
learn to laugh out loud
get goosebumps when thinking of happiness
stop fearing the dark
don't be afraid to be alone
believe in destiny
don't give up without putting up a fight
believe in love
stay in touch
hang on tight

Respect others
Respect pain
Respect other's pain

Stare at the moon
look at the stars
Let go
relax
Breathe
calm down
slow down
prioritize
pick up the pace

Give something to humanity
take something from humanity
save your humanity
Respect nature
watch birds fly

be sane
Be insane
Take control
lose control

Dance
hug
kiss
swim
run
chase
jump

grin
shout
cheer
joke

LIFE AND LIVING IS DIFFRENT

There are things in life we pay no attention to
like the man crossing the street to get to home
or the flicker of the light on the street that you pass
everyday to get home.

The smile of the people you meet everyday...
The lady in the booth of the parking lot
or the janitor who cleans your mess with enthusiasm

The color of the eyes of the person you talked to about your heart pains
or the child selling flowers by your car window

We choose to pay no attention to them to block out the pain of reality
we choose to see other things

The awesome mobile phone of the person in the next table as you sit and eat dinner in you favorite restaurant
The expensive watch of the highschool friend you haven't seen in years

The Porshe that just passed by driven by the guy you just saw dating that actress
The dress of the girl who won prom queen instead of you... her date

Life is bigger...better...bolder than any movie
any book or dream
this is where we are...


Life is full of questions and mysteries, why not go and find the answers?
Live my friend..... live and enjoy it